In addition to the accounts of poor counseling and deception given by
former abortion providers, there are also women who have
gone through the abortion process and can tell of their experiences.
This page records stories from people who have written to or in other
ways agreed to make public their experiences. If you have a possible
quote for this page please e-mail me. While it is true that not every
woman who goes through abortion suffers these difficulties, those who
have had them deserve our concern.
"I came across your website because I wanted to know what went on while I was unconscious during my abortion. I was appalled to find out the things that I did and to see the pictures that I saw. the doctor who did my abortion told me that my baby was just a piece of tissue at 8 weeks old and I believed him. I was 15 years old, I thought that I was making the right decision. I was wrong and now I feel so bad. Patients should be told of what the doctors are doing. If I had know that they were going to rip my precious baby into a bunch of different part I would never have done what I did. If someone had told me or if I had seen this website earlier I would not have had an abortion."
"The day of the abortion, my future husband was a real sport and drove me to the clinic and paid for the procedure. That is
what it became known as that day. He left and said he would pick me up later. I stared around the waiting room and saw a lot
of young girls, some alone, some with a boyfriend, a husband, a friend, not many with a mother, all of them looking scared. A
young woman called me and made me take another urine pregnancy test. She showed me into a "counseling" room. She came
back and told me that I was pregnant, took out a plastic model of a uterus and explained how they would remove the tissue
lining of the uterus. There was never any mention of a baby, or fetus, just the tissue that lined the uterus and how it would be
removed."
"Planned Parenthood is a big lie! What happened to me was not counseling, it was a plan to make money off my mother and
myself by lying and tricking us at a very vulnerable time."--Michele Slaffey
"I was deceived because I was not told the truth about what an abortion means to the life of an unborn baby. I was not told that
there were other options. I was not told that at 10 weeks (which is when I had my abortion) my child was already fully formed.
I was made to believe that I was doing something that was as natural as going to the dentist for teeth cleaning. --Stephanie Williams
On my way out of the clinic, I was approached by a young woman holding a baby. She said, "Your test was positive, wasn't it?". I told her yes, and she handed me some pamphlets and asked, "Before you do anything, would you please just read what these have to say". That was all she did. I told her yes, thanked her, and was on my way. When I got home, I looked over the pamphlets. Although I am agnostic and these pamphlets did mention God, I looked at them objectively for the facts. I saw a picture of an 8 week old fetus, complete with fingers, eyes, a nose, a mouth, and a beating heart. Part of me thought that this couldn't be true...in my confused state I refused to believe that the abortion salesperson had lied to me.
On the pamphlets was printed the number to the local crisis pregnancy center. I decided to give them a call. I remember when I called it was 7:45 pm, and when they answered I asked how late they were open. I was told 8pm, said "oh, ok...." and was ready to hang up. The woman on the phone said, "Wait...are you OK, honey? Do you need someone to talk to?" I told her I was pregnant, and I had some questions about the pamphlet I had received. She said that she would stay open for me if I wanted to come out, and when I told her I didn't have a car, she offered to (and did) come and pick me up. At the crisis pregnancy center, she took my name and asked me some other questions, such as when was my last period, had I had a positive pregnancy test, etc. When she got to the question where she asked my religious preference, I told her I was agnostic. That was fine...it was a non-issue, she did not proselytize to me at all. What she did do was answer all the questions I had, told me about resources available to single mothers, and also told me about adoption resources. When I mentioned what the abortion salesperson had said about my baby being a mass of cells, she pulled out a book (A Child is Born, a well known book for expectant mothers and others) and showed me a picture of an 8 week fetus. This picture looked very much like the one I had seen in the pamphlet...fingers, eyes, nose, mouth, a BEATING HEART. Yes, a beating heart.....I read medical text that proved this to me. We ended our visit with her telling me that they would be there for me, no matter what I decided to do. She reiterated the assistance they provide to expectant and new mothers (and it is SUBSTANTIAL assistance). She drove me home.
The next morning I awoke with a clear head, and I knew there was no way I could kill my baby. My first instinct was to call the clinic and cancel my appointment. I'm glad I didn't do that right away, because the more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Angry that the abortion salesperson had lied to me. Angry that she had most likely lied to many other scared, pregnant girls in just the same way. Angry that, all over the country, millions of scared, pregnant girls were being lied to...coerced into killing heir babies.
I decided not to cancel my appointment. Instead, at 10 am on the appointed day, I walked into that office. I looked around at the other girls, yes GIRLS, sitting in that waiting room. I walked up to the reception desk, and in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear I said I would not be keeping my appointment. I asked the receptionist why I had been lied to. I told her the child inside me WAS a baby, and I had pictures to prove it. Then I pulled out pictures of a 5 week fetus and an 8 week fetus. I held them up for everybody to see. I started to read medical literature about when the heart begins beating. This is when two women came around from the back, each taking one of my arms, and told me to leave peacefully or they would force me out. I left alright, but not before I had taken a handful of pamphlets and thrown them in the direction of the girls sitting in the waiting room. Those two looked like Keystone Kops, scrambling to pick up the evidence of their lies before any of their "customers" saw it!
I walked out the door, across the street, and into the car of a friend who was waiting for me. No sooner had I sat down than I
saw two, yes TWO, of the girls who had been in the waiting room walk out. A pro-life activist was born that day. My daughter
Katie was born 8 months later.
"I viewed your web pages yesterday and I felt like I just had to say
something. You have done a great job of providing the truth
about abortion and not the sugar coated version that an abortion clinic
will give a woman.1 year ago today I had an abortion
and I just wish that I could have seen this website before hand because
it would have kept me from MURDERING my unborn
child. When I went to that abortion clinic I was completely lied to and
convinced that I was doing the right thing. Until
Yesterday I had blocked the whole thing from my mind. I never thought
about it, I never cried. Last night I spent the whole
night crying for the child that I has so carelessly tossed away. I only
hope that I can be forgiven. Its sad that these clinics are not
required to give you this information whenever you go in for an
abortion because if they did I think that any decent person
would turn around and leave. I wonder if all the pro-choice people even
realize exactly what they are supporting? I would
imagine that they are like I was and that they have no idea. You are
doing a wonderful thing with this website. It is so direct and
to the point and I think that is what it takes for people to realize
the horror of abortion. Unfortunately I am afraid that most
people like me will not see this website until they have already made
the biggest mistake of there lives. At least though it may
stop someone from doing it again and may help them to stop someone else
from doing it. I know that my eyes are now wide
open to the abortion issue. One last thing before I end this-how would
I go about joining a pro-life group? I would like to be a
part of something so that I could in some small way make an amend for
what I have done only I don't know where to start.
Thank you so much!!! Cherie"
The following are testimonies from the book Women Exploited: The Other Victims of Abortion by Paula Ervin.
"I am a victim. What I'm a victim of is not considered a crime in our country. I am a victim of abortion. Pro-choice people will
tell you there are no victims of abortion- only solved problems through "elimination of uterine contents." Pro-life people say
babies are the victims of abortion. That's true. I am the mother of that baby, and I'm a victim too. I made a "free choice" to
have an abortion. A choice based on a one-sided story that definitely was not the truth.
I don't remember a lot of it. It hurts too much. The nurse checked me. I was eleven weeks along. I thought that seemed pretty
far. I wondered if it looked like a baby. I was assured that it was just a 'blob of tissue.' Look at a picture of an eleven-week
old fetus sometime. It looks just like a baby. With fingers, toes, and all the organs functioning! When I found this out a few
years ago, it was devestating."
"My husband was with me. He was nervous. I was nervous. We
were both wrecks. Planned Parenthood counselled me. They gave
me a pamphlet that I hung on to. They told me the fetus was just
a little blob of jelly at three months. Even so, I began having
these nightmares, and my husband was always dead in them.
Sometimes the baby I killed would be calling to me, "Mommy,
Mommy, why did you kill me?" Then, after all this, I found out
the real truth about my baby, and it blew me away. About six
months after the abortion I started quietly looking into fetal
and baby books, and one book just devastated me. I wanted to
bury that book. I went into drinking and severe, severe
depression."
". . . I asked a little bit about the a baby. They said "Oh, its not a
baby. It's an indeterminable cluster of cells." So when it came
time to have the abortion, there were a whole bunch of us in there.
There were about thirty young women in there that day. No
one wanted to be the chicken. Everybody wanted to be tough. . . They
told us a little bit about the abortion, but they called it
"the procedure." And we weren't told what was going to happen to us. .
. So [years later] one day in my third pregnancy I went
to the mailbox, and there was a mailing from that National Right to
Life Committee. . . I got an envelope and this picture was
inside. And it said, "Did you know this is how big you were when you
were eleven weeks old?"
Now, the baby I aborted was eleven weeks, and can you imagine what this
did to me when I saw this baby with the hands and
face, sucking his thumb? And they told me it was a cluster of cells. .
. if there had been somebody outside that hospital that day
I walked in, and if they had had a picture of this baby, I would not
have had an abortion- and I wouldn't be obsessed with who
that baby was, because I'd be loving the child."
"Planned Parenthood told me that I was so young, I could die having the baby, that I couldn't have any fun with my friends, I couldn't go to the movies with them. I was confused, scared. So was my boyfriend. . . I was almost six months along." Quoted by Leonard Stern in the Ottawa Citizen, Sunday May 28, 2000 is the story of one woman's abortion experience:
`In December 1992, I was four months pregnant. At the time I had a
boyfriend Chris who was not the child's father. We
decided that I would have an abortion. An appointment was made (at) the
Cabbagetown Women's Clinic on Gerrard Street
(for an ultrasound examination). The people at the clinic did not tell
me how big my baby was.
On the way out of the clinic (the abortion was scheduled for the
following week) Chris and I met two men and a woman
carrying signs. When we walked by them one of them asked if they could
talk to us. we said it was OK. They said we should
think about what we were doing. We talked on the sidewalk for about 10
or 15 minutes ... Chris and I accepted the invitation
to go into the Aid to Women offices next to the abortion clinic ...
There were lots of pamphlets on the wall to look at ... After a
while I decided not to have the abortion. Chris then went back to the
clinic to get the money back. Since that day we got some
more help from Aid to Women. They supplied us with baby clothes and a
crib. Chris and I got married on Feb. 13, 1993. My
daughter Elizabeth was born on May 26, 1993. At the time, I was in
Canada on a visitor's permit and was not covered by
OHIP. Aid to Women helped me to find a doctor who delivered my baby
without charging me anything.''
Another story in Leonard Stern's article:
``When I arrived [at the clinic], there was a long line up of other
women waiting for their abortions. I could not see the doctor
until I waited a long time. Eventually he saw me. He did an ultrasound
examination of my abdomen to see the baby. When I
asked to see it, he refused. I asked him how big the baby was. He would
not tell me. He said the abortion was going to be
easy ... However, by that time of the day I did not have time to wait
for the abortion as I had to do some homework for
school. I explained that I had to leave. An appointment for the
abortion was arranged for the next day, Nov. 3, 1992. By that
time in my pregnancy, I could already feel the baby move inside me. I
cried a lot on Nov. 3rd before I went to the clinic.
However, I stopped crying as I made my way to the clinic for my
appointment at 2:30 p.m. Upon arrival at the Clinic, I saw
ladies outside carrying pictures of unborn babies. I looked at the
pictures and thought about my own baby. As I was going
towards the door a lady asked me `Can we help you?' I started crying
... They asked if I knew how the baby looks like and
they showed me a book about how a baby looks like as it grows inside a
mother. They also asked me about why I wanted an
abortion. I told them about my financial problems ... (They) helped me
by paying my rent and helping to pay for groceries (and)
with maternity clothes and things for the baby. My daughter Emily was
born on April 8, 1993.''
"If the doctor would have told me that I was four months
pregnant I don't think that I would have had an abortion. I would have
considered that murder at that point, the baby's heart was beatin', the
baby's developed really, and I would have never had an abortion. The doctor
did not tell me anything about a D & E being dangerous. The doctor didn't
discuss anything to me about any risks. I WASN'T TOLD *ONE WORD*(her
emphasis, some anger in her voice). Nothing about, you know, my uterus
being burst through, and all these things happened……… Now, to my knowledge, I find out that if I do have another
baby, that it could probably kill me. I would never have had an abortion if
I knew these horrible things could happen to me, cause that's the only way
to explain it. It's not worth going through."
Also from the show:
"When I was examined, the doctor said that he had been
mistaken, the baby was far more advanced than he had thought, and that it
was 15 weeks, and I was really just in shock. Within a minute, I was
aborted, waited a few minutes, and I got up to get dressed. And when I
went over to the dressing room, I saw a bucket of blood. And, my baby was
in the bucket of blood(she's beginning to cry at this point), and the baby
was not an inch big, the baby was as big as my hand, and it was a real
baby. All I could think of was that I had murdered my baby. For the
Pro Choice side, there is no mention of her seeking counseling. Shouldn't
she have had an "informed choice"? I started deteriorating
emotionally that night. Over the next month, I cried, not normal cries, I
cried from the bellows of the earth. I remember just leaning at the top of
my staircase just wishing I could throw myself down to the bottom. I
remember thinking of jumping on the roof and jumping off. I thought of
every method of suicide, I tried to consider doing. And, I cried so deeply,
so constantly, and so deeply, it was like the wail of a newborn baby when
they cry and their fists are clenched and they just can not control the
crying, and somehow I thought I must, it was the most extraordinary crying
I could see myself doing."
I was about four months along when I had the abortion. I was
having problems with my little girl because of the problems my
husband and I were having....and I didn't feel that I could
handle a baby. My husband didn't care one way or another, and he
just moved out....they did a suction...It was where they dilate
you and use that machine...I hadn't been totally knocked out with
the drugs they give you, and right away when they were taking the
baby I looked over and saw the baby all cut up, and it really
freaked me out.... Dorothy S.
To the Editor:
I have read letters to the editor from persons who feel abortion is
morally wrong and others who feel abortion is a matter of choice. I
would like to present a side of the abortion debate that few people
consider. That is the position of one who has had an abortion.
This is what the “right to choose” has meant to me: In 1980 I aborted
my first child. I was told at Planned Parenthood that this little “blob
of tissue” would be as easily removed as a wart. Terminating a
pregnancy, I was told, was no more significant than removing a tiny
blood clot in my uterus. “Sounds harmless,” I reasoned. Exercising the
right to choose, I opted for abortion. At that time no other options,
such as adoption or single parenting, were explained. At the abortion
clinic, I was not administered pain killers. When the suction aspirator
was turned on I felt like my entire insides were being torn from me.
Three-quarters of the way through the procedure I looked down and to my
right and there I saw the bits and pieces of my baby floating in a pool
of blood. After I screamed “I killed my baby,” the counselor in
attendance told me to shut up. Suddenly I felt very sad and alone. But
the worst was yet to come. I was not forewarned about the deep
psychological problems I would encounter in the months and years to
follow. I was never told that I would have nightmares about babies
crying in the night. Neither was it explained previous to the abortion
that I would experience severe depressions in which I would contemplate
suicide. I didn’t mourn the loss of my appendix, so why would I grieve
the passing of an enigmatic uterine blob? The answer was that it wasn’t
a mere “blob of tissue”. It was a living baby. I realized it the moment
I saw his dismembered limbs. I realized too late on abortion.
By now the reader may be asking him/herself, “Isn’t this an extreme
example of an abortion experience?” Actually, no. Mine was a routine
suction abortion. Millions have been done. Why do women who’ve had an
abortion have a higher incidence of suicide than other women? And why
do the chances of losing a subsequent wanted baby double or even
quadruple following a “safe, legal abortion”? Since when has death
become good for us?
by Karen Sullivan Ables
On the advice of my roommate, I went to a local medical clinic
off-campus to have a pregnancy test done. Although I'd convinced myself
my nausea and fatigue were from the flu, the doctor returned to the
office. "You're about eight weeks pregnant," he said. Judging from my
startled reaction, he asked, "Are you married?"
"No," I replied, tears streaming down my cheeks. I'll never forget the
sad look in his eyes as he told me he was sorry, gave me a schedule for
my obstetric appointments, and advised me to see my regular doctor.
The girl who had accompanied me to the doctor was casual about the
news. It was evident she viewed this as a minor ripple on the big pond
of life. "So, you're pregnant," she said with a shrug. "If you don't
want to stay pregnant, get an abortion."
At the time, I didn't even know the meaning of the word abortion. After
all, when Roe v. Wade was happening, I was fifteen years old, still
untouched by sexual promiscuity. But after asking a few of my more
"experienced" college friends, I was inaccurately told abortion was
basically the "removal of the pregnancy." No mention of a baby, no
mention of murder. They made it sound so simple that I made an
appointment with an abortion clinic within a week of the positive
pregnancy test. My boyfriend quickly came up with the fee. All I needed
was a ride, which one of the girls in the dorm volunteered to provide.
In a peculiar sort of way, I became the dorm celebrity, on an adventure
many of the other girls hadn't experienced.
I arrived at the clinic, thankful one of my college friends had come
along with me. When they called my name, I felt relief mixed with
dread. I was glad to get out of the gloomy waiting room, but I was in
no hurry to begin the abortion procedure. A "counselor" led me down a
narrow hall of rooms filled with other women sitting on one side of a
desk talking to the somber-faced girls on the other side. During the
next several minutes, she described the abortion procedure, referring
to my unborn child as "the product of conception," and telling me I
would experience period-like cramps as the doctor "suctioned out some
tissue from the pregnancy."
She never once called the contents of my womb a "baby." She never
warned me about my increased chances for infection, possible uterine
scarring, or any other physical and emotional side effects. She never
told me I didn't have to go through with the abortion. In fact, she
described a mock-scenario of what life would be like if I decided to go
through with the pregnancy, making it sound as frightfully impossible
as she could. "You'd have to drop out of college, find a job and a
place to live, then support the baby when it's born. Do you feel old
enough for all that responsibility?"
She never told me this "responsibility" was already alive and would
feel pain beyond description as he or she was torn from my womb.
When the abortion procedure was over, during which the doctor never
once acknowledged my presence, I was taken to a mass recovery room and
given fruit punch and toast to fortify me. I begged to skip the snack
and leave, but they made me stay for the mandatory thirty-minute
recovery period. Then my friend eased me into her car, making the
journey back to campus. I spent the entire ride lying on the back seat
moaning and cramping...."